


Chocobros Shenanigans

by Eben_Sterling



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Bromance, Comedy, Errand Bitches, Funny, Gen, Platonic Relationships, Prompto Flirting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 10:17:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11415837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eben_Sterling/pseuds/Eben_Sterling
Summary: Water hose showers, long-ass car rides, and Gladio's secret book. Noctis may be a prince of destiny, but he's still got to deal with real world problems, and the people he calls friends.





	1. A Poor Prince

**Author's Note:**

> These started off as jokes between the roomie and I about the Chocobro's lives as we played FFXV. I'm trying my damndest to keep accurate to the characters, and fit stuff with cannon events. If there is interest, I'll post more!

Cindy considered Noctis Lucis Caelum as he struggled vainly to scrub his matted black hair under the thin stream of water without getting the rest of his clothes wet. She shifted her weight a little, trying not to move the water hose.

“Uh… I’m assumin’ this is somethin’ I shouldn’t mention, for when you become a big hero an’ save us all?” She asked tentatively, biting her lip in an attempt to hide her amusement.

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Noctis replied tersely from under the water. Taking a shower under a water hose behind Hammerhead’s garage wasn’t exactly something she figured the annuls of history should remember about their 114th prince. The western sun had begun to set early, turning the parking lot and sky a deep orange, blissfully cooling the desert air. If there was an upside to the earlier setting sun, it was that most travelers had already found their way to a motel for the night, leaving the lot vacant except for a few hunter’s trucks, affording the four men clad in black a modicum of privacy.

“Thank you again _so_ much Cindy, you’re seriously a lifesaver,” Prompto gushed for the fifth time that evening. Cindy smiled politely and brushed it off.

“It’s nothin’, really. I wouldn’t really consider lettin’ you boys use my hose a heroic deed.” Prompto cringed, ruffling his dirt-darkened hair.

“It is when you have to be in the car with ‘em,” he muttered.

From under the hose, Noctis roared in frustration and furiously scrubbed at his head, the concrete at his feet white with suds. It was at this point Cindy realized that Gladio had been casually dumping more shampoo on Noct’s head when he wasn’t paying attention. The guy was unnervingly stealthy for someone his size. She also noticed that Ignis seemed to have been pointedly ignoring it, sighing audibly when Cindy pursed her lips.

“Do leave enough for the rest of us, Gladio.” Noctis angled around in suspicion, still doubled over.

“What’s he doing?”

“You’re wasting water, turn back around,” Gladio said flatly, shampoo bottle tucked safely under his arm.

“So, what sort of amazing treat can we expect tonight?” Prompto asked, trying not to sound too eager.

“Ah, nothin’ special, not like Ignis can make, I’m sure,” she said, giving him a little nod. “Just a little home-cooked stew, as promised. You boys deserve a load off.”

“A home-cooked meal!” he said, grinning affably. “I bet it’ll be even better than Ignis’s cooking!”

“I’ll try not to take offense,” Ignis said dryly, though Prompto appeared to be oblivious.

“Done!” Noctis announced, backing away from the hose, his normally fluffy, spiked hair plastered to his forehead as he looked up. “Who has a towel?” Everyone was suspiciously silent as he looked around at the other three. “You’re shitting me, we don’t even have a towel?”

“Alright, I’m next,” Gladio said, stripping his black jacket and rounding Noctis, who was still dripping water on the concrete. Cindy furrowed her brows as the large man approached.

“Uh… either you’re gonna have to bend way over, or I’m gonna need a stepladder, cuz I ain’t that tall,” she said looking up at him.

“Lucky for you, I am,” he said, reaching for the hose. “No need to worry about us, I’m sure there are better things to do than hold this.”

“Ah,” she said, brightening up. “Good, then I can go finish up that stew. Come on in when ya’ll are ready,” she called as she backed towards the door. “And uh… I’ll bring out some towels.”

Prompto watched the side door she disappeared through forlornly, then whipped around to face Gladio. “You did that on purpose!”

Gladio gave a slight smile and held the water hose directly over his head. “I was being a gentleman.”

“ _Perfect_ timing for that trailer’s water hookup to bust. That was the grossest cave I’ve ever been in,” Noctis said in exasperation, attempting to ring his hair out with his hands. He paused and tilted his head, “And I’ve been in a lot lately,” he added as an afterthought.

“I still can’t believe Cindy offered to let us use her shower!” Prompto interjected. He threw his arms out in exasperation, pushing his lip out in a pout. “I still don’t get why we couldn’t taker her up on the offer.”

 “It would have hardly been appropriate,” Ignis said resolutely, retrieving Cid’s folding chair from around the corner. “Are you nearly done? The air is taking a turn for the cooler.”

“Jeeze mom, give me a minute,” Gladio grumbled, attempting to lather his entire torso with one hand while holding the hose with the other. “Here, Prompto, hold the hose.”

“No way, dude, you’re on your own.”

“I’m going in,” Noctis mumbled as though not caring if anyone heard him. He met Cindy in the doorway as she came out, just as Prompto had stripped his tank off. Noct could hear his yelp of alarm from the doorway, though Cindy didn’t seem to notice and handed the towels off, calling out to the three still in the parking lot.

“Pawpaw says ya’ll better hurry it up, or, and I quote, ‘the local deamons are gonna eat bettr’n those boys.’”

Prompto seemed to be in agonizing indecision between trying to force his tank back on and wrestling the water hose from Gladiolus, who held it above his head at arm’s length, while Ignis sighed in resignation and settled down in Cid’s chair, cracking open his black notebook. Noctis made his way down the narrow hall to the dining room as the side door cut off his friend’s raised voices, trying to ignore Cindy’s bemused expression at his haphazard and very un-princely hair. Dinner was going to be interesting.


	2. Gil is a Thing

Noctis stared blearily at the menu, chin rested in his hands and blinking slowly. This went on long enough that Takka paused in frying an egg and scrunched his brow at him.

“You alright?”

“Hmm?”

“He’s not a morning person,” Ignis provided, entering the diner. The bespectacled man slid onto the chair at the bar next to Noctis, taking out his notebook and pen and making a few notes.

“I’ll wake up once I eat,” Noctis said, straightening up as Takka placed a plate of eggs and bacon in front of him. “You getting recipe ideas first thing in the morning?”

“Not quite,” Ignis said, and slid his small notebook over to Noctis, holding it there for him to see. “You see that number?”

He looked at the digits in suspicion. “Yes?”

“That’s our total Gil.”

Noctis nearly snorted the orange juice he’d been drinking. “I knew we were low,” he said after recovering. “But damn.”

Ignis glanced at Noct’s plate in regret. “Looks like I’ll be skipping breakfast this morning.” He went back to skimming his notes. “We should take a hunt. I’ve several listed here from locals we’ve spoken to.” Noctis nodded.

“We’ll see what’s on the way.”

Thankfully, dinner the previous night hadn’t been as bad as Noctis was dreading. Turned out Cid’s threat was an empty one, as he wasn’t even there. Cindy said something about her Paw getting called out to fix some hunter’s truck stuck on the road. Other than location and a plus one, dinner was normal. Except for the fact that Prompto had managed to walk in cleaner than the other three combined. Noctis had no idea how he had accomplished that with a garden hose and shampoo, but even Cindy was admittedly impressed, which he supposed was the point.

Prompto was humming an aimless tune as he walked through the diner door. “Gooood morning guys!” He hopped into the seat on Noctis’s other side, giving him a smack on the back that forced a grumbled “Good morning” out in response. “Yo, Takka! That smells good.” He leaned across the bar, inhaling deeply. The older man looked up from the omelet he was frying and gave Prompto a nod.

“Want anything?”

Ignis didn’t look up from his notebook. “Nothing too expensive.”

Takka nodded sagely and cracked a smile. “You boys low on money? I saw your ah, shower situation last night.” Noctis groaned and stared fixedly at the counter as he ate. “I’ve been in your shoes, more’n I care to admit. But you boys are lucky to have friends like Cindy to rely on.”

“Isn’t she great? Ah, a home-cooked made by her, too!” Prompto’s face was practically beaming and he smacked the countertop for emphasis. “I don’t even think I could eat breakfast, it would ruin the taste!”

Noctis paused mid-bite and even Ignis looked up. “I’ll admit it was good, but I wouldn’t go quite _that_ far,” he said.

“Are you goin’ on about Cindy?” Takka frowned slightly and looked Prompto up and down from across the counter, as though seeing him for the first time. “You do realize that girl is Cid’s kid, and ain’t got the slightest interest in-” he broke off when he noticed Noctis shaking his head violently behind Prompto’s shoulder. “I- in not helpin’ you boys out, when she can.” If Prompto noticed Takka’s bizarre statement, he was unfazed. Behind them, Gladio stuck his head and shoulders through the door.

“Hey, time to go. Daylight’s burning.”

 Noctis was the last to leave, but Takka called him back before he reached the door. “Where are ya’ll headed to?”

“Towards Lestallum,” he replied, deciding not to be too specific.

“Well, if you boys find the time, I could use some fresh veggies from a supplier there. I’ll compensate you, of course.”

“Thanks,” Noctis said unenthusiastically, glancing at the name and list on receipt paper Takka handed him.

Gladio was in the back seat when he made his way out, and had already cracked open his red covered book. Ignis stood beside the car, topping off the tank. Noctis had just managed to get situated in his place in the back when Prompto trotted up, grasped the top of the door with his left hand, and launched himself over, solidly smacking his knee on the dash on the way down. He suppressed a curse as he quickly straightened in his seat, grasping his knee under the dash and waving enthusiastically with the other. Gladio didn’t even look up from his book.

“If you’re trying to impress Cindy, it didn’t work.”

“How do _you_ know?”

“You boys drive safe!” Cindy called from across the lot. “An’ bring the Regalia back anytime, I’m happy to help.”

“Thank you again for everything, Cindy. Give Cid our regards when he returns,” Ignis called as he settled into the driver’s seat. As they pulled out of the lot, Prompto doubled over and rubbed his knee, sucking air in through his teeth with a hiss. Ignis tilted his head toward the back, “What did Takka want?”

“Ah, just wanted us to pick up some stuff again. We’re turning into everyone’s royal errand bitches.” Ignis was thoughtful for a moment as Noctis handed up the list he’d been given, folding it into his notebook and asked,

“Is Takka even aware of who we are?”

The entire car was silent as all occupants came to the realization that they didn’t know.

“Surely Cid told him,” Gladio offered after a moment.

“I dunno,” Noctis said. “It seems like the old man to withhold that sort of thing.”


	3. Gladio's Book

                The day got hot fast, but with the Regalia’s top down, the desert air rushed over their heads and kept things surprisingly cool. Not to mention, helped with the claustrophobia that inevitably came with being in a limited space for too long. After just an hour though, Prompto had already reached the level of boredom involving snapping photos of the sky, scenery, and the inhabitants of the car. Noctis frowned as he whipped around in his seat, trying to take a surprise photo.

                “Aww, c’mon man,” Prompto complained, checking the digital display. “You need more expression! Just look at Gladio.” He turned the display around for Noctis to see, the tiny screen showing an absurdly photogenic shot of Gladio, cheek rested on his knuckles as he read. Prompto shook his head as he sat back in his seat. “You’re gonna need a better photographer than me at the wedding, cuz so far it’s not looking good, dude.”

                “Hey!”

                “Noct, do you mind passing up an Ebony?” Noctis shot his blonde friend a withering look as he leaned down and pried the lid up in the regalia’s floor space, quickly finding a sleek black can and passing it up to Ignis. Having already exhausted his nap for the morning, Noctis struggled to find something to keep his mind occupied. Eventually, he climbed up onto the back of the Regalia, enjoying the arid wind that pressed against his face and chest, even propping his foot up on the door. Gladio shifted in his seat, casting him a glance.

                “You should get down from there.”

                “I’m fine,” he said dismissively, closing his eyes against the wind. “Besides, I trust our driver.” Gladio sighed with a twinge of irritation and lowered his book.

                “Look, all Iggy has to do is tap the breaks, _and thus ended the line of Lucis_.”

                Prompto turned around in his seat, his face a half-and-half mix of shock and awed. “Dude, that’s morbid.”

                “He has a point though, Noct,” Ignis provided, taking a sip of coffee. “You should take better care. Our mission is virtually pointless without you.”

                “I hate you all,” Noctis muttered, slowly sliding back down into his seat nevertheless. Time passed as they began to climb in elevation, trees appearing more and more often. Noctis found himself staring at Gladio’s red book, the corners more worn than when they had set out from Insomnia. The guy had it out on nearly every lengthy car ride, and Noctis was sure it had seen some battle.

                “You’re a freak, Gladio.”

                Gladio didn’t even look away from his page. “Because I read?”

                “Because you read in the car.”

                “We’ve been over this, Noct.”

                Noctis let a huff of air out through his nose, “Yeah, _training_ through the nausea doesn’t make you any less of a freak.”

                In the front seat, Prompto was getting animated enough about something to cause Ignis to force his face away with a free hand.

                “What’re you reading anyway?” It had just occurred to him that he had no idea. The cover was blank, and any writing that had once been on the spine was well worn away. As Noctis tried to casually lean back to catch a glimpse of the page, Gladio angled it just enough so that he couldn’t see.

                “Nunya.”

                “Whats-?”

                “Nun’ya business.”

                Noctis clicked his tongue against his teeth and folded his arms, sitting back. “Whatever, man.” Prompto got tired of whatever he was trying to argue with Ignis and turned around in his seat, leaning over the headrest.

                “What’s going on? Lover’s spat?” Gladio remained silent, so Noctis sighed, knowing Prompto wouldn’t drop the topic.

                “Gladio’s book’s a secret.”

                “Huh,” Propto said, furrowing his brow, “Now that you mention it, what _are_ you reading?”

                “It’s seriously not important,” Gladio’s voice had a twinge of irritation in it again. Prompto spread his arms out to either side, his head high enough that wind caused his hair to thrash wildly.

                “We’ve got nothin’ better to do, man.” Suddenly his face lit up, a simile forming across it. “Wait, is it something embarrassing?” He grasped the headrest with both gloved hands again, leaning forward. “Like a romance?”

                “And you guys get on to me about bad car habits? Sit down, Prompto,” Noctis had to admit the idea struck him as funny, though he doubted that was the case. “Knowing him, it’s probably something boring like war strategy or history.” Gladio was trying his damndest to ignore all of this, but the corner of his mouth twitched and he snapped the book shut, stowing it away in the hidden compartment on his side. Prompto was undaunted, however.

                “What about you Iggy? Theories?”

                Ignis let a sly smile grace his features, something the others rarely saw. “I already know what he’s reading.”

                Prompto was aghast, “What!? He told you?”

                “I borrowed it from him.”

                Now even Noctis was curious, and he glanced over at Gladio, who wore an oddly smug expression. “And are you gonna tell us?”

               “That, I will not.”


End file.
